47 Signs You Know You’re From Cleveland

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by Kevin Tuleta

**APRIL 2015 UPDATE: Wrote this way back in 2013; obviously a lot has changed since then (specifically in our sports department), so a full rewrite will be out in the near future.**

1. You play corn hole. Not bags. And it’s most likely a custom set with your high school/college/Cleveland team on it

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2. Put-in-Bay + Kelley’s Island may as well be the Bahamas + Hawaii.

3. Saturdays at noon bring out the best in our football abilities

4. And Sundays at 1pm bring out the worst

5. You or someone in your family has played hockey their entire life

6. You have, or will experience at least one east coaster ask “How big is your farm?” when telling them where you’re from

7. You automatically assume a catastrophic event is unfolding when a traffic jam lasts longer than 30 seconds heading into downtown

8. You are absolutely baffled that people still ask how you feel about LeBron 

9. Daydreaming about a championship parade rolling through downtown is a common occurrence

10. You have come to take pride in our river setting on fire multiple times

11. You know how to say bagel, pillow, and milk the right way

12. When people bring up the Fumble/Drive/Shot/Decision, you counter with the ’90s Indians.

13. You have great difficulty trying to explain the joy that is Christmas Ale to non-Clevelanders

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14. It’s a cookout, not a barbecue. 

15. If offered a million dollars, you still wouldn’t be able to name all starting quarterbacks since 1999.

16. You have never once muttered the name Progressive Field and never will. Your future children and theirs will always call it The Jake.

17. There is a good chance you have a Cleveland Lumberjacks t-shirt or plastic cup somewhere in your attic.

18. You know what The Holy War is

19. There is a strong chance you have used the “we have the best hospital in the world, even Kings and Queens come here!” argument when defending our town.

20. Every night at every bar is an accidental high school reunion.

21. It’s pop. Take your “soda” elsewhere.

22. You constantly wonder what downtown + The Flats will look like in ten years.

23. East Side vs. West Side

24. Obligatory Cedar Point comment

25. You’ve taken one taxi ride your entire life

26. You wouldn’t even think to look twice when seeing someone with Christmas lights still up in July

27. “I’m 30% Polish 30% Irish and a mix of some other stuff”

28. Temperature above 40 degrees? Shorts and flip flops it is!

29. All of your snow days growing up occurred in April

30. “Dinner” is the third meal of the day

31. Of course it smells like dead fish – it’s Lake Erie.

32. The Q? The Gund.

33. You put your trash on the “tree lawn”

34. The Feast

35. Big Chuck and Little John commercials

36. You don’t have a clue how to navigate University Circle

37. Walleye and Perch are delicacies

38. You don’t know Easter without Malley’s

39. You either experienced or been told about 10 cent beer night

40. You know where Deer Hunter and The Avengers were filmed

41. Serpentini – American and prooooooooooooooud of it.

42. Everything is “20 minutes” from everything

43. You’ve dumped at least 100 pennies in the Tower City fountains in your lifetime

44. Friday Fish Fry? See you there.

45. Saint Patrick’s Day > Christmas

46. Anything below Columbus may as well be the deep south

47. People bash on Cleveland all day long – but no one does it as well as you can.

drew-carey-cleveland-rocks

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22 thoughts on “47 Signs You Know You’re From Cleveland

  1. Anonymous says:

    48. Drew is from here, Tim Conway.
    49. Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

  2. Sue K. says:

    48. You can pronounce “Sokolowski” without a pause and know not to look for a waitress.
    49. You know what a pierogi is and don’t need a spell check. Hell, it’s not IN spell check!
    50. You have had arroz y gandules, collard greens and roast pork with sauerkraut on the same plate.

  3. So so true after living in the South!

  4. Shawn Lloyd says:

    You missed one….

    GARFIELD ONE…..2-3, 2-3!

  5. Steven Kay says:

    21 really nailed it, but 46 should probably be Wadsworth

  6. Anonymous says:

    just for the record…. the photo of the Drew Carey show, I was part of the filming ALLLLLL day for that! We started running the streets of downtown and ended at Shooters that night! The scene there in the picture was interrupted by a very long train for quite some time! Drew did some of his stand up to entertain us while we waited for it to pass!

  7. Jim D. says:

    As a state government worker and Grove City resident, I traveled to Cleveland 3-4 times per year for more than 25 years. Most of what people think they know about Cleveland is wrong: it is a fine place. East Side/West Side, it don’t matter.

  8. Ed. Takacs says:

    I still have a Lumberjacks Sweat Shirt that I wear. Cleveland, the 2nd. largest Hungarian City in the world; I do know my way around University Circle; I remember when there used to be a true University Circle; Public square used to be a feeding area for cows.

  9. […] The Cleveland Will just came up with a great post entitled – 47 Signs You Know You’re From Cleveland […]

  10. Kelly Ann Hearn says:

    Best place to be…Cleveland is HOME!

  11. Anonymous says:

    Add on when outsiders say the best burger….you in your mind say Swensons or Skyway hands down

  12. Options for #41, depending on your age: “Chevys! Chevys! See Commander Ray at West Park Chev-ro-let”
    Murray Saul on Friday: “Gota-gota-gota-gota GET DOWN, DAMMIT!”

  13. Anonymous says:

    How can you forget The Michael Stanley Band played every Friday at quiting time on WMMS! Been gone for awhile. Is it still played?

  14. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t even register what Progressive Field was until I read “The Jake” after it…

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